Finally Getting Some Time to Expand This Website
I know a year is a long time to start a website and only have one page up, but it’s a long page! It’s done the job to get the messages across, but I’ve wanted to have time for more like having a regular blog that I can talk about this or that. Now, I finally have time to dedicate some more thoughts here.
I’m going to utilize this blog similar to the entry’s in a personal journal or what American’s call a Diary. I’ll be throwing in a few blog entries with prehistoric dates to blog about some the milestones in my life. Yeah, that sounds good! Okay, so that’s all for this post today. See you later!
Dear Grandmother of blessed memory. Today you are gone 15 years and I think I’ve counted nearly every hour of every day since you left. I miss you.
This article updated: 8 June 2019
Every year when the23’rd of October rolls around I am reminded of the woman who was to be wife and mother of my children in this lifetime. She broke off our relationship when we were 17. Through the years I’d kept in contact with her sister, Linda and her mother, getting bits and pieces of her story and then about 10 years ago Phyllis re-established contact with me. It was short-lived as she feared her abusive husband, Patrick would find out we were in communication and she’d have hell to pay. I never got around to asking her about the baby she aborted when she was 17. Her sister assumed it was mine and said it was a boy. I almost asked her about it one day, wanting to ease into the subject, asking her if she ever had children with Patrick and she said she didn’t. I seem to remember Phyllis saying she some troubles and so her and Patrick never had children. Did something bad happen during the abortion? I guess it’s also a possibility that she avoided getting pregnant so she didn’t bring innocents into an abusive marriage.
My family had moved and put 1000 miles between Phyllis and I when we were 15, but we’d planned that I would move back to Kentucky when I was 18 and we could be married. Two days after my 18th birthday I returned to Kentucky to live with my grandmother. I let Phyllis know I’d come back for her and wanted to begin trying to heal our relationship. She never once told me that she had married Patrick Hickey the month before I arrived. I’m glad I didn’t find out till many years later about her marriage at age 17 to Patrick. Phyllis came uninvited to my grandmother’s home late at night, and my grandmother did not allow me to answer the door. Phyllis faded away after that. Years later when we finally reconnected she would admit that marrying the abusive Patrick Hickey was the worst mistake of her life and it also changed the trajectory of my own life. Patrick would not allow her to have a car or drive his car. He would drive her to her job and drive her home. He wouldn’t even allow Phyllis to walk feet across the parking lot of the strip mall where she worked to eat lunch at a restaurant with fellow employees. She could only have her hair cut at her gay brother’s hair salon on Sunday when the salon was closed to the public. She gave me many more details of her horrible life with Patrick and I asked her is she wanted to get away from him and we began to develop a plan for her to escape him and come live with me in California, but then she got cold feet and stopped contact with me again.
My last form of contact was with her sister Joan in early 2019. I wanted Phyllis to sign off on her identity in my book to be published. Joan offered to give Phyllis my contact info, but then she came back with some lame excuse that Phyllis didn’t have email or a phone, and added that things with Patrick had gotten better? Really? Over 30 years of hellish abusive marriage and now Patrick is being good to Phyllis? Doubt it. Poor Phyllis.
Update: 8 June 2019 I took a nap today and awoke during a dream where Phyllis and I were laying in bed cuddling. That was a really strange dream to have out of the blue. I don’t know that I will ever see her again in this lifetime and I don’t understand why our lives unfolded the way they have, but my belief system tells me we will understand when we do meet again in Heaven.